5 Rules For Yankees Moving South
1. Don’t Talk Crap About The South
Don’t like it? Go home! That’s what you’re going to be told, and you’ll insult those who grew up here that call the south home. And if I’m to be honest, it bothers me. This is a 2nd home to me now, and I love it here. Is living in the south perfect? No, but no place is.
Talking crap about your hometown is common place up north. It’s not given a 2nd thought, but in the south, your hometown is part of you. It’s a place your family was raised for generations, a place that many don’t ever wanna leave and it’s an important part of you life.
2. Pulled Pork is called Barbecue
Chicken legs, thighs and breasts cooked on a grill with red BBQ sauce is called a BBQ up north, but not here. In the north, it’s a verb. In the south, it’s a noun. BBQ is made with different flavored sauces depending on where you are in the south too. Virginia uses a red sauce, and NC uses a vinegar based sauce.
3. Eat What’s Given To You
Just like the north, when an old Italian woman forces you to eat all the pasta in front of you, do the same thing when an old southern lady gives you fried chicken
Something you’ll come to learn is that the fried chicken is better in the south. We have better pizza up north, they have better fried chicken, and they’re just as proud of their chicken as we are of our pizza. Watch your tongue when talking about fried chicken.
Imagine being in NY and someone says that all pizza taste the same, or that they like a certain pizza chain, and or frozen pizza!? You’d lose your mind, right? We know that’s crazy. Obviously, that person’s palate isn’t refined enough to understand what good pizza is, and you can’t hold that against them because they don’t know any better.
If you eat homemade fried chicken, it’s the best fried chicken you ever had. That rule is even more important if it’s an old southern lady that made it for you. Plus, nobody wants to hear about your diet. Eat it, insults don’t get a pass just because you’re calorie counting. Do the extra 15 minutes of cardio.
1 more thing: Eat it with your hands! You wouldn’t eat pizza with a fork, would you?
4. Slow Down.
People like to have conversations. Especially at convenient stores. There’s going to be many moments when you’re stuck behind a customer who is chatting it up with the cashier. It happens everywhere and all the time. If you stop to get coffee in the morning, give yourself an extra 15 minutes so the cashier can hold small talk with every customer that comes in. As annoying as this sounds, you’ll grow to love it. It forces you to interact like a human, and it slows your ass down.
That’s a good thing.
5. Driving On Snow Is No Longer Fun
The southerners didn’t grow up learning how to drive in that crap. Again, slow your roll on the roads. When there’s snow (even a little), one of the main reasons for accidents is because of yankees driving too fast on ice and being the main reason some slam on their breaks and lose control of their vehicle.
Also, many southerners don’t use their turn signal.
I know, it’s hard to get used to because up north we were so used to riding everyone’s ass. I’m not exactly sure why southerners refuse to use their blinkers, but that doesn’t matter. They don’t! Don’t ride anyone’s ass and just accept it. Welcome to the south and the zero-cares given when it comes to blinkers.
Bonus Rule: Enjoy The Warm Weather
Something I don’t understand is how anyone from NY comes down here and complains that they miss the snow!? If I never see snow again, it’s too soon.
Try to remember having to shovel that crap and scraping it off your vehicles 1/3 of the entire year.